From my couch: everything is dissolving and i’m letting it.
on pisces, oneness, and learning to feel safe before your reality changes
There’s a specific kind of feeling in the air right now. Like everything is softening and unraveling at the same time.
We’re in the Dark Moon in Pisces, building up to a New Moon that doesn’t feel like a typical reset. It feels like a closing — a deep, emotional, almost spiritual exhale on patterns, identities, and ways of being that have been with you for years. Decades, even.
Because this isn’t just Pisces energy. Mercury retrograde is closing up here. The North Node is here. We’re coming off a Virgo eclipse that already asked us to get real about our habits, our bodies, our lives. And right on the edge of all of that, Aries energy is building — Saturn, Neptune, Venus — like something is preparing to begin, but hasn’t quite landed yet.
So the energy feels like this constant in-between. Draining, pausing, almost moving, then draining again. Like you’re standing in water, feeling the current shift beneath you, but you haven’t stepped onto solid ground yet.
And I think what’s important to understand is that this isn’t chaos. It’s clearing.
What’s coming up right now — the emotions, the triggers, the random waves that don’t seem tied to anything specific — they’re not here to shake your life up. They’re here to move through you. Pisces doesn’t just bring things to the surface, it dissolves them. And because the North Node is here, this isn’t just emotional, it’s directional. It’s your soul saying: we’re not bringing this version of you forward.
I’ve been feeling this in the most real, unglamorous way. Like I’m in this loop of working, crying, sleeping, waking up, going to the gym, hitting my protein goals, feeling like I might cry again, locking back in, and then doing it all over again.
And the funny part is… nothing is actually wrong. There’s no big dramatic situation. It’s just this quiet, constant undercurrent of release happening while life is still very much life-ing.
And I think that’s the part people don’t talk about enough. You don’t always get to pause everything to process. Sometimes healing looks like showing up anyway… and letting yourself feel in between.
But this is also where the discernment comes in. Because Pisces will have you wanting to disappear. To rest, to withdraw, to just feel everything all at once. And yes, some of that is necessary. But not at the cost of abandoning yourself. Not at the cost of your routines, your body, your responsibilities — the things that are actually keeping you anchored while everything else is dissolving.
At the same time, there’s a deeper layer to all of this that I can’t ignore. Pisces is the energy of oneness. It’s the understanding that you are not separate from the divine, not separate from creation, not separate from the life you’re trying to call in. There isn’t this real gap between you and what you desire other than the way you perceive it.
And that realization has been hitting me in a very specific way. How often I’ve let what I see in my physical reality dictate how I think, how I feel, and what I believe is possible for me. Instead of shifting my perception, I’ve been letting my circumstances tell me who I am. Letting what’s in front of me decide what I get to expect, what I get to dream, how safe I get to feel.
And that quietly caps everything.
Because the mind — the ego — wants proof. It wants something it can point to, something it can make sense of. But Pisces doesn’t move through proof. Pisces moves through knowing.
And I think that’s what this New Moon is really asking of us. Not just to release what’s old, but to step into a version of ourselves that feels safe before our reality reflects it. To become someone who feels held, supported, and certain… without needing external confirmation first.
And yes, that can feel a little delusional. But not in a disconnected, avoidant way. In a deep knowing way. The kind where you’re like, I don’t fully see it yet, but I know it’s mine.
This is the shift from “I’ll feel safe when everything settles” to “I am safe, so everything can settle.”
And that requires something different from you. It requires you to think differently, feel differently, and move differently without evidence. Without confirmation. Without your reality backing you up yet.
For me, that’s looked like crying… and still going to the gym. Feeling overwhelmed… and still showing up for my work. Having moments of doubt… and still choosing myself. Not because everything feels perfect, but because I’m practicing being a version of me that feels safe regardless.
And I think this is where people get tripped up when we talk about being “delusional.” Because it’s not about ignoring your reality. It’s about choosing a deeper truth and having the capacity to hold it long enough for your life to meet you there.
This moment isn’t just emotional. It’s transformational. You’re not just releasing patterns — you’re recalibrating your identity. Letting go of the version of you that needed proof, needed control, needed everything to make sense before you could trust it.
And stepping into someone who knows.
So if it feels like a lot right now, it’s because it is. You’re clearing out years of who you’ve been while simultaneously being asked to become someone new.
Let yourself feel. Let things move through you. But don’t disappear from your life while you do it.
And remember — you are not separate from what you’re becoming.
You never were.
Happy New Moon In Pisces,
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